The masks are off and the masks are off

Photo by Madison Inouye.

We're not gonna link to the tweet. You are just gonna have to take our word for it. It's not a good take.

And if it were a single tweet from a single exec at a single company, ok. But it's not. Tucked in those 280 characters is a thing that's happening a lot. It's a message many employers are eager for you to hear. Loud and clear.

For months, we've talked about the Great Resignation. How hard it is to find and retain talent. How employers are scrambling to recalibrate salaries. How seemingly overnight, work underwent a massive power shift. And now every other article is about it being a employee's market.

Don't get it twisted

Your employer wants you to know that they reserve the right to fire you. They've always had the right to fire you. They still have the right to fire you. And that your continued employment is not guaranteed.

Maybe you already know those things intellectually. But anywhere employees are asserting their power, your employer wants you to know, they still hold quite a lot of it, too.

Workplace trends often swing from one end of things to another. We hate offices. We love open concept. We hate open concept. We love offices. We hate offices and open concept. We love working at home in pajamas. We hate our pajamas. Remember how cool offices were?

As more employees step into and use their power, it's not surprising to see the pendulum swing. On the heels of a year of employees asserting, employers are clapping back. That clap back is sharp and swift. And it's not evenly distributed.

In particular, employers want anyone working on DEI to know that they can be fired. They want people organizing walkouts to know they can be fired. And they want anyone talking about sexual harassment to know they can be fired.

Execs are quick to point out that organizations already have ways to express dissent. It doesn't always mean you get what you want. But most senior leaders have either said the catchphrase to someone else or had someone quote it to them.

Disagree and Commit

In most North American business contexts, we don't strive for consensus. As a business gets more complex, it's not possible for all of us to be consulted on every single decision. Nor would most people actually want that. In practice, it's very slow.

So we do a different thing. We tell leaders that, yes, we want their input. And yes, we want them to say something if we're about to do something really boneheaded. And absolutely, if something doesn't make strategic sense, please do flag it.

But only to a point. And after that point, please shut up about it. Please get over your shit. Please get onto the bus. The unwritten third part of "disagree and commit" is what happens if you can't. And in most organizations, the answer is that we're going to move forward without you.

Sometimes you can't Disagree and Commit

The executives running these companies often seem surprised at how badly this goes. They've been asserting power all along, firing people all along. Sometimes over major issues, but often over minor disagreements. What makes this different?

Well it starts at the very beginning. When they hire you, they tell a story about the culture and values of the organization. About it being a place where you can thrive as an individual, yes. But also where you can have impact on the world around you.

Not only is this a really nice ideal, it works. The research on employee engagement and motivation is clear. People work harder, generate more new ideas, collaborate more, and grow faster when they feel a sense of purpose in their work. And since purpose is different for every individual, good managers know to engage their team one on one. They develop your individual sense of identity in the company. They ask you to bring your whole self to work, and they tell you it will be safe to do so.

And when your whole self can't get behind a decision to, say, pay millions to platform a transphobic comedy special? When your sense of meaning, and purpose, and the values you bring to your work scream out that this isn't okay? When you bring that concern into meetings and emails. Identify the risk. Lay out alternatives. When you offer to educate others because of how important this is to you, how important you know it would be to them if they understood it. They tell you to disagree and commit. Or they fire you.

That doesn't land like an unpopular management decision, that lands as a betrayal. A betrayal to that employee. And a betrayal to the employees left behind who share those values and see how it played out.

We're in the midst of a massive renegotiation of the rules of work. And the central focus of that negotiation isn't back to office plans, or international salary parity, or vaccine mandates. It's power. The Great Resignation was about the power to say, "I quit." And the clapback happening now is about the power to say, "You're fired."

It's a nuanced, complex, personal negotiation for each of us. And we're working it out with sledgehammers.

Sledgehammers only do demolition

In Facilitating Breakthrough, Adam Kahane talks about the two essential beliefs for any collaboration:

• We want to create change

• We want to collaborate to do it

If you're a leader in an organization with more than 1 person, these questions are worth some thought. They're deeper than they seem. You don't have to believe them; you just can't collaborate if you don't.

So. Bosses. Do you actually want to collaborate on your new hybrid work plan, or do you want to make the call unilaterally? Are your ERGs there to create real change, or to pacify and surveil marginalized employees? If collaboration means you'll have a decision reversed, or give up some of your own power – are you still committed to change?

The betrayal comes from saying one thing and doing another. From saying we want to collaborate, but only when it doesn't threaten the executive team's authority. From saying we're committed to meaningful change, but only around the edges.

It's fine for us to talk about a book club or a charitable donation or a social media post during Pride. But what happens when Bring Your Whole Self to Work comes up against Disagree and Commit? When real power about who makes decisions is at stake? It's clear that some organizations reach for their sledgehammers in that moment. What does yours do? What do you do?

We're not saying don't quit. Sometimes you need to. And we're not saying don't fire people. Sometimes you need to do that, too. What we're saying is that this renegotiation is happening in your organization. Whether you've said it out loud or not. For that negotiation to build your team up instead of tear them down, a sledgehammer can't be your only tool.

- Melissa and Johnathan