The buzzing noise from the hotel closet

Photo by Thorsten technoman.

A lifetime ago, one of us worked with a guy who would go on vacation with his family, and be on his Blackberry the whole time. So much so, goes the story, that his wife eventually locked the device in the hotel safe and refused to tell him the pass code. The family would hear the dull buzzing from the closet for the duration of their time away. And at the end of the vacation, she'd give him back the device so he could respond to messages on the way to the airport.

Very few people carry a Blackberry anymore. You're more likely to be at an Airbnb than a hotel with a safe. But in the years since this story, bosses haven't gotten much better at unplugging.

Last week, our family was on vacation. A real vacation. A week away with airports and rental cars and a commemorative magnet from the gift shop.

While on vacation, we were joking about the man and his Blackberry. Ours is not a family where either spouse would lock up the others' phone. It helps that we're both pretty internet-connected humans. It also helps that the place we were staying didn't have a hotel safe. But there's a modern version for people trying to get at a similar thing. They delete the work apps from their phones and add them only when they get back.

We didn't do that, either. If you do and you find it helpful, don't let us push you off it.

For many bosses (including the two of us), the idea of removing all the work apps cold turkey feels more stressful than leaving them in place. Not because of some misguided superhero complex. But because the all or nothing approach isn't how work happens for us.

Just because we go on vacation doesn't mean the organization stops. There are jobs with seasonality. Jobs that chase major release dates and then everyone collapses at the finish line. But far too often, our work is amorphous. Yes, we have busier and less busy seasons, but there's never not work.

We have both worked jobs where unplugging for a week meant thousands of emails upon your return. You get shockingly good at email triage. But you also feel like you'll never get out from under it. And that feeling – that being off is good but there's a profound downside – can make you feel like taking the time isn't worth it.

We meet a lot of bosses who have a complex relationship with vacation. Who end up with a week of Sunday Scaries. And spend all the supposed downtime worrying about what awaits when they return. Leaders with teams of super junior folks who have loads of questions. Where it's not possible to tell them to sit tight for a week. And it's sometimes easier to skip the whole thing.

No you can't skip it

Obviously, obviously, you can't just not. You are a human. You require rest. You are worthy of rest. Every bit as much as your people. We understand that your past vacationing may have been a pain in the ass or, at least, emotionally fraught. That is a reason to upgrade your OOO game, not a reason to abandon the concept.

We start that upgrade by changing the lens. When you see vacation time as a burden, an interruption to the smooth flow of things, it feels like something you want to minimize. It's a normal, sensible thing for any leader to feel. And so you mitigate. You take less time. You stay more connected. You avoid destinations that might not have good cell coverage. Mitigations to make your team feel like you're not even really on vacation. Mitigations, unfortunately, that often make you feel the same way.

A different lens is that vacation is an opportunity. For you to learn to surf, sure, but also for your team. Vacations are a cross-training opportunity. They are a sponsorship opportunity. They are resilience and succession planning and visibility opportunities for your team. You just have to see them for what they are.

Opportunities beyond surf lessons

Think about the impacts it will have on your team's life when you're out on vacation. By definition, every one of those impacts is a place where you being out makes a thing not work right. They are choke-points, single points of failure. And many of them are opportunities for delegation.

Most managers we know cancel their team meetings while they're out. Instead, ask someone – maybe the most senior person on your team, maybe the most junior – to run it instead. But run it for real. Assemble the agenda, talk to other teams to get status and updates, keep it on track. If you're gone for long enough, set that ownership up to rotate among team members. You might need to spend some time with the team ahead of time training them up on how to use the time effectively, but they can handle it. That's a skill they need anyhow. And, by the way, when your vacation is over you don't have to take that ownership back.

If you're going to be missing your own meetings – directors calls, goals check-ins, whatever – think hard about where that work should live. In our experience, most people kick it up to their own manager. It's a safe choice. She will likely have most of your context already and can represent your team well. But the sponsorship opportunity here is to send one of your team as your designate instead. They might need some mentorship on what to expect and how to be in that space. And you might need to soften the ground with your peers about this person attending in your place. But whereas for your boss this was just added workload, for the person on your team this is visibility and opportunity and context and stretch. For free! While you're busy swallowing ocean water and falling off a surf board!

Your out-of-office email responder is a delegation opportunity. Instead of answering questions from the beach, redirect those questions to someone who'd feel flattered and valued to be asked. And if you're sufficiently fancy within your org that you being out for a while requires you to send a broadcast email ahead of time? You get it – the delegation, sponsorship, and visibility opportunity that represents is immense.

Even for the things you can't delegate, you can use the break as a capital-M Moment. You can align work and review schedules. Turn your vacation into time for your team to finish the work they all have which, "is important but needs a meaty block of time to get done." You can structure your 1:1 agendas before the break as lead up, and the ones when you return as recap. Anywhere you've been looking to turn a corner, or change an approach, but weren't sure how to do it without interrupting people's flow? "When I get back in two weeks," is your opportunity.

When you try to minimize your vacation, you hit diminishing returns pretty quickly. Returns so diminished they end up negative. It's a losing strategy for you, and your team. Our wish for all of you this summer, next winter, whatever season it is in whatever hemisphere you're in when you next vacation. Our wish for you is that you maximize your vacation, instead. And then do whatever you want with the hotel safe.

- Melissa and Johnathan